Is Derren Brown a magician? – Card Magic Tricks Revealed Videos You Can Do

“I don’t know.”

I don’t know, because if a dude can make your heart rate go up when he fucks you up his soul, then the dude is in business.

“Well, it depends on what it is.”


“Are you a black mage?”


“Me. If you’re interested you can send me a message through skype.”

I want to look like a fool while reading what I’m about to tweet, my mind aflame with rage. I need to keep looking at the screen, but the more I look, the farther I look from the one I want to be. My heart races and I need to make my body as still as possible. It’s not the kind of thing that makes a fanboy or fangirl. I can live with it in the moment, but, if I want to be a woman, I need to know that I will be a whore.

“You’re black.”

The word is too much for me, and then everything is a mess. My mouth is dry, like someone had turned off the water in the bathroom; my arms are shaking too, like what I thought they had gone through was nothing. This is not what I had expected.

What is it?

What am I saying?

I remember what I was hearing in my parents’ bedroom, and I realize that I am a little bit jealous of what I imagined that it meant.

I think about what was happening at the same time, and I decide I know what it means. It’s like a black curse on me that I have to hide from myself, because if I reveal it I will be an object of scorn. It’s the same thing, only worse; I will never see the girl I love, not like this. It will be a secret that I have to keep with me at all costs.

“Why are you saying that?”

“Why are you saying that?”

The whole time I had to explain myself to her, I felt like I have been burned before. I think I must have burned every boy in middle school because she saw what I did to her boyfriend, but when it came down to it she wasn’t prepared for it, she didn’t stop me from doing what I did. And I am still here, and I am doing it now.

“I can’t explain it.”

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