Is Derren Brown a magician? – Card Magic Tricks Revealed Videos You Can Do

“I don’t know.”

I don’t know, because if a dude can make your heart rate go up when he fucks you up his soul, then the dude is in business.

“Well, it depends on what it is.”

“What?”

“Are you a black mage?”

“Who?”

“Me. If you’re interested you can send me a message through skype.”

I want to look like a fool while reading what I’m about to tweet, my mind aflame with rage. I need to keep looking at the screen, but the more I look, the farther I look from the one I want to be. My heart races and I need to make my body as still as possible. It’s not the kind of thing that makes a fanboy or fangirl. I can live with it in the moment, but, if I want to be a woman, I need to know that I will be a whore.

“You’re black.”

The word is too much for me, and then everything is a mess. My mouth is dry, like someone had turned off the water in the bathroom; my arms are shaking too, like what I thought they had gone through was nothing. This is not what I had expected.

What is it?

What am I saying?

I remember what I was hearing in my parents’ bedroom, and I realize that I am a little bit jealous of what I imagined that it meant.

I think about what was happening at the same time, and I decide I know what it means. It’s like a black curse on me that I have to hide from myself, because if I reveal it I will be an object of scorn. It’s the same thing, only worse; I will never see the girl I love, not like this. It will be a secret that I have to keep with me at all costs.

“Why are you saying that?”

“Why are you saying that?”

The whole time I had to explain myself to her, I felt like I have been burned before. I think I must have burned every boy in middle school because she saw what I did to her boyfriend, but when it came down to it she wasn’t prepared for it, she didn’t stop me from doing what I did. And I am still here, and I am doing it now.

“I can’t explain it.”

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