Can you be called a therapist?
As a therapist, I can tell you that the most important thing about a therapist’s practice isn’t who you are talking to but what you choose to share with them and how you choose to be open to discussing those things. A counselor can only do so much in the confines of a classroom. They can also only do so much if they are trying to provide answers and counseling. But a therapist can’t answer the question what an ex needs, can they? The therapist’s job is not to help individuals change in some way they can’t control. The therapist’s job is to help individuals grow from that place, to make that place a place of strength. And not to just be a good listener to a session or a piece of advice, but to be an integral component in that growth as well.
Let’s talk about the book, The Love-Hate Ratio. And the author of that book is a therapist: Amy Jo Johnson, she worked at a rehab center for addiction and is now the founder and president of the Center for Applied Positive Change in Brooklyn. She started The Love-Hate Ratio to help change the attitudes and beliefs of her patients. Do you think that’s realistic, and that you’re not suggesting that people can change?
Absolutely, that’s absolutely realistic. And I would say if there really is a reason why a guy says he can’t have sex because his wife won’t have it, that’s a really hard thing to address. The most important part in an intimate relationship is the conversation. The conversation is very powerful and very personal and extremely powerful. And it’s not just something a therapist can address.
In addition, an intimate therapist can use the most basic tools at their disposal to encourage positive change in the people they are talking to. They can help them to see that an intimacy is not a sexual conquest; that sex is lovemaking; that the power dynamic that takes place within a relationship is not dependent on the physical proximity. That the relationship is built on self-sufficiency and self-reflection and a willingness to change and grow. And that they are better able to help you to grow and to create a more balanced life, even while they still need to talk to you about how the relationship of self-sufficiency and growth is going to change, because it does need to change.
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